bittersweet insanity;

2006-04-18T19:38:00.000+08:00

I'M SICK OF SCHOOL. Period.

Common test starts next Wed. HOW? I don't wish to study anymore...................... AHHHHH. I'm having the Tuesday Blues.

Nothing much to blog about. My sister is mad already. She keeps telling me about how hungry she is. And she keeps whining. And just now she told Muffin,

"Muffin, why you so sulky... Sulky.. Sausage.. YUM."

MADNESS! INSANITY! AHHHHH!

[Muffin just came back from grooming so she's extremely pissed off. LOL.]

Hahaha. (:

Ron's joke:

Why did the jelly wobble?
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Because it saw the milkshake.

Geddit? OMG. I almost died.

Bwahahahahahhahaahha.

is this for real? (:

2006-04-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking of a new url. And a new layout. Yes, AGAIN.

Just kinda sick and tired of this.

Oh, that fucking asshole is such a joke. Have you even heard of someone as loser as him? Tsk. Just because he can never get her back, he makes so much fucking noise. JOKE.

Who's to blame?

2006-04-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

I'm back after a looooong time! (: The long weekend has been hell loads of fun! Hahaha.. Can I not go to school tomorrow.......?

Anyway, it's my mummy's birthday today! Man, I love her to bits. Really. I think that without her, I wouldn't be who I am today. [I wouldn't even be here in the first place! LOL.] The only person who can tolerate my tantrums, my nonsense, my rudeness and still be worried about me when I'm out late despite getting out of hand or being rebellious. The only person who is willing to smack my biggest fear, the cockroach, despite being scared of it as well. The only person who tries her best to satisfy my materialistic needs despite us not being well-to-do. The only person who place a hell load of trust in me. The greatest mother anyone can have. I LOVE YOU MUMMY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yup. I had so much fun these three days lah! Lol. On Thursday, I played mahjong till six Friday morning with my sister and her friends! Lol. I feel so tai tai now, playing mahjong every week! Heh. But seriously, all of you guys should go and learn how to play mahjong. It's so fun! I slept till like 4 plus in the afternoon. Lol. Supposed to go town with Mel but I couldn't get up on time. Then at like 8pm, my crazy sister suddenly said that she feel like going to KTV so we got ready for dinner and went for KTV at Teo Heng. It was like so sudden! Oh, I saw that primary school crush AGAIN! He was having dinner with this group of ah beng friends! LOL. So bloody coincidental! KTV with my sis and mum was fun! I mean, actually it was just my sis and I singing, but I still had so much fun! Two hours was kinda short though.

On Saturday, I went to my grandaunt's house and played mahjong again! Hahaha.. Die, really becoming very aunty leh. Lol. Then I went out for lunch at Bugis today to celebrate my mum's birthday.. Went to V8 Movies cafe. I sort of lost my cool though, cos I couldn't stand staying in the cafe even though we finished our meal. My mum and sis wanted to finish watching the movie that they were screening. So I just left the cafe and walked around. Alone. Was kinda pissed lah. Then I went to Kinokuniya and read some Da Vinci Code-related book. Haha.. After which, we left Bugis and went to Newton to meet my other relatives and had suck a scrumptious dinner! Like oh my god, today was so sinful lah. Eat so much. Tsk.

Yah, these three days was just fun, fun and more fun!

I was just thinking... That no one would ever understand something unless one has been through it right? Like me. I used to judge a person so fucking much.. But when it happened to me, I realised that there was actually no way out. And that no one ever wanted it to happen. Somewhat the same, but still... No one will ever get it. Sigh. I don't know what I'm yakking about but yeah, I think I rest my case. I won't care anymore.

Why do people still fall in love despite all the hurt love causes?

I don't get it.

again?

2006-04-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

Muffin's having a fever. Sis brought her to the vet today.. My poor baby. ):

Hahahaha. Look at those imposters in my tag. I feel like laughing out loud. I mean, how stupid can they get? Like whatever. LOSERS. Lol. If my intuition is right, boy, those people are stooping real low. I mean, they really can't sink any lower. Well, poor people with no lives. I don't mind you all tagging like that often. At least you'll have something to do yah? I'll be nice. (:

Finally, holy week is over. (: No school tomorrow!! :D

BGRs are redundant, ain't? They only give you so much problems. They bring you hurt, cause you pain, make you lose faith in love, make you lose trust, ruin friendships, cause depression, make you feel inferior, paranoid.... etc. Like fuck. It'll take a long time before I'll learn to trust again.

Ciao! Gonna play mahjong later! (:

first to the last.

2006-04-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

Oh yes,

I'M FUCKING FAT TODAY!!! Like fuck it. I think I gained a ton! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!

I ate so fucking much, I think I scared myself! AHHHHHHH! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I won't eat tomorrow. NOT AT ALL.

FUCKKKKKKKKKK.

=
I hate that bloated feeling, it makes me think I'm a hundred kilos. ):

2006-04-11T21:02:00.000+08:00

Back again, yes. School's boring like hell.

Holy week this week. And I'm sorry to say that I'm bloody sick of it. Once a week is enough seriously. Argh.

Hmmmm. I can't think of what I wanna blog about suddenly. I thought I had so many things to say, but suddenly I can't remember at all. Bah. Severe short-term memory.

Oh yes, I SAW THAT CUTE CRUSH OF MINE YESTERDAY! Like oh my god. Haha.. I was just saying that I wanna see him and the next thing I know, he boarded the bus! LOL. :D

I have a confession to make. I read my previous blogs and......

OMFG! I WAS SUCH A TWIT BEFORE!!!!!
[hyperventilates and die.]

Haha.. I can't believe myself man. Maybe one day, I'll do up my archives and link my past blogs. You guys can go laugh at how twit-y I sound last time! Heh. I laughed my ass off man. Thank goodness I changed to a ANTI-TWIT. :D And I realised that I've been blogging since Sec One. (: That's a long time.

Oh, speaking of twits, JAS'THM took neoprints today!!! LOL. So fucking hilarious, but it was a total disaster cos the machine was so fast. But I had so much fun! Haha.. But really sad that our TWITS picture was not chosen cos there wasn't time to choose! ARGH. Damn.

I wanna go tanning soon! Sentosa on Fri or Sat anyone?

that's so very long ago..

2006-04-09T15:38:00.000+08:00

Bendemeer's Arts Night.

I met up with Mel, Jacklyn, Hui Min, Adriel, Brent, Eiji, Leonard and Kuo Jinn yesterday! We went for Bendemeer's Arts Night at ACS Barker. Had 10 tickets but only 9 persons. ): We were thinking so hard for someone to call along but in the end we couldn't find anyone. Lol.

Oh ya, this was taken at the MRT station. We were trying to do the off-beat clap throughout the day. Lol!

We reached ACS Barker at like six fifty? Lol. Saw my primary school friends. A LOT. And oh, Mei Yuan went too! Haha.. Was so surprised that an ah beng like him would bother to go.. Saw Shafiq! :D Met up with Mei Yuan and Leonard(his friend).

Anyway, Bendemeer is like filled with ah bengs and mats! Like OMG!! Really so many of them.. All around! It's an eye-opening experience for people in our school, really. Cos in our school, it's only the minority who are like that. LOL!

The whole programme started with a speech.. Really boring. Then there was a talent quest where students performed-singing solo, group and dancing. The dances were good, well, some of them. Haha.. Then band performed! They performed 2 songs only! Kinda really little. =\ Well, I saw my cousin though. Then dance performed and choir. Then it ended.

After everything, we went for supper! Went with all of them plus Mei Yuan and his friends. Kinda weird but we managed to anyway. Lol. I think it's the only time when they heard me speaking so much Chinese. LOL. Yup. Anyway, I SAW VICTOR!! ((: We ate at Newton Circus then all of them had to leave first so I stayed behind and waited for Mei Yuan. Took 124 back with him and his friend, not quite sure what his friend's name was though. Haha.. They send me home, for like the first time in six years? Haha..

That ah beng. Lol.

Anyway, after going to the performance yesterday, I realised that.......

Bendemeer has a lot of cute guys despite them being Ah Bengs. (but that to me is a plus side! LOL.)

Either that or our school is just plainly pathetic which is quite true. I mean, there isn't even one guy in my level who's worth looking. All the cute guys in our school is younger!! Tsk.

Yes, that's about it. Had loads of fun! (: I'm sorry people if you guys felt that I ps-ed you all yesterday! I didn't mean to! Really! Hahhaa.. ((:

i will not.

2006-04-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

Muffin's sick. I'm like damn worried. Poor girl. Sigh. Sis is gonna bring her to the vet if she doesn't get well by tomorrow. Like something stuck in her throat. Well, at least she's better than when I got home. So sick she just slept the whole time. ): My poor baby. Heart pain ah, see her like that. Sigh.

I WENT TO WATCH "I'LL CALL YOU" WITH JACKLYN TODAY. THAT SHOW'S SO FUCKING NICE COS ALEX FONG IS SO FUCKING CUTE. I ALMOST FAINTED I SWEAR! ULTRA CUTIE!!!! :DDD

At first we were the only ones in the cinema. So fucking cool. Haha! Then this couple came in. -.- I guess they must hate us very much cos without us, they'll probably be like making out throughout the whole movie or something. Hahaha.. Jacklyn and I sat like nobody's business. Put our legs on the chairs in front. Haahaha! Anyway, it's a really hilarious and somewhat heart-breaking movie but the ending is one of those you'll have to decipher yourself. I LOVE ALEX FONG!

I've been thinking about things. And I've came to a conclusion that some people are just so fucking insensitive. Either that or they're just fucking mean. And it seriously gets on my nerves. Like fuck you, no one is perfect. I hate those fucking idiots who think that they're so fucking pretty and just because of that, they can so fucking put people down. Fucking dickheads. Go to hell.

Oh yes, OUT WITH THE BAND-ERS & FRIENDS TOMORROW!! Going for Bendemeer Sec's Arts Night. Hope it'll be good, and I hope to see my primary school friends there!! Can't wait! :D Gonna have loads of fun. (:

Yup! (: Goodnight people!

dead end.

2006-04-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

Oh, I realised that I've changed my layout AGAIN, yes. Feeling kinda down lately which explains the dull colour.

Whatever. I've nothing to say. There's nothing I can do. It's not me. Now I know. There's no point.

It's time to forget every shit. Even if I don't want to. Even if I want to make things better. But for fuck? I ask. Nothing will change. Be nice or nasty, I'm still the fucking villain.

Fuck this life of mine. No wait, fuck this period of time in my life. I wanna fucking get out of this fucking school. Like FUCKKKKKK.

send me to hell.

2006-04-05T22:36:00.000+08:00

Ayeeeeee. I feel like I haven't blog in the longest time. That's like a lie. LOL.

Ahhh, had a great time with Mel, Ryuju, Vic and her friend yesterday. (: Anyway, had inter-class netball today. I love my class team! ((: Natasha, Jiayu, Marissa, Alex, Joyce, Sing Yee, Rochelle and Mel rocks. :D Though we didn't manage to get to Top 3, I think we did our best! :D

Well, I've learnt some things after today's competition. A competition can NEVER be friendly no matter what. LOL. That and a hell lot of other things. Like I don't know. Some things I guess never will change. No matter how long it takes. Is it me or what. It's like.... whatever. Seriously, let it be.

Yes. I'm having a headache now. AGAIN. Fuck. Grace Chua's gonna speak to us tomorrow during PE of all lessons. Asshole. I swear I will not and am not gonna listen to whatever she says. Stupid woman. My class have not been performing up to standard, yadah yadah yadah. Fuck lah. Leave us alone can't??! I can't stand it at times. Yes, so what if we're fucking not as good as the previous batches or something. So what if we're more slack. Can't we just be like that?!

Whatever. I'm really tired and I haven't done my homework. I have been so fucking lazy this year I swear I'll get a 40 for my O's at this rate. Fuck.

And I still don't get it. How fucking long will it take to stop?

i dont believe it.

2006-04-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back, yes. Played mahjong for consecutive THREE nights. Hahahahha.. Won quite a lot though. (: I LOVE MAHJONG. :D

This week's the stupid bazaar shit cum inter-class netball. Not all classes will be playing with each other right, right, right???!!! I certainly hope so. The bazaar. Nothing much to say. Just that I feel damn bad for going 1 hour late today. Cos I seriously didn't know that I was suppose to go at 7am. WTF. Oh well.

Had band today! New pieces. CHIMES OF LIBERTY, BLACK WATER & CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU. :D All kinda difficult though. Except for CTMEOY. Hahahah.. ((: Dinner after band with Mr Sim and people again! Heh. Had loads of fun. Laughing my ass off so much! :D

Our band can so win the LAMEST BAND OF THE YEAR AWARD.

I shall end off with another one of our dear lamer, Ron's, jokes.

****

10 pigs wanted to cross the river. In the river, there were 10 crocodiles. All 10 pigs didn't manage to cross and fell into the river. 9 pigs were eaten by 9 crocodiles. Why didn't the last crocodile eat the last pig?
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Because the crocodile was HALAL.
-.-

ROFLMAO.

never-ending feud? wearing me out.

2006-04-01T15:00:00.000+08:00

ST. HILDA'S WIND ORCHESTRA ROCKS!!!

Like oh my god! I swear they were freaking good!! Hahahaha.. They played Incredibles like the recording. And Mr Sim was so smart!! :D Awww. They really rock lah. Good concert. A really good one. (:

I love being with the band-ers! Yesterday's outing was a really fun one despite the fact that Vic's dad is a HUGE ASSHOLE. Hahahaha.

Gonna blade later! (: With my sis. East Coast to Bedok. Then gonna play mahong again! :D

Yeah. About all. Nothing much to blog about and I can't think of anything.

fear?

2006-03-30T21:17:00.000+08:00

I'm having a fucking headache
I'm hungry

I think I'm gonna die.

Bah.

Oh! I saw my hot primary school crush AGAIN. *faints. He's so so so so so so so fucking hot! :D

Anyway, I can't wait for St. Hilda's concert tomorrow.

YAY!

time and again.

2006-03-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

Now I'm eating strawberries and stoning. My Chem notes are in front of me but I'm not touching them. I have Chem test tomorrow. How? Damn. It's like I've no drive to study anymore. And I'm fucking taking O's this year. Shit.

I'm feeling PMS-y now. Like yuck what's wrong with me.

Anyway, I went to City Hall for like the third time. WTF. With Ngai Hon and Vic. Shopping with Vic makes me feel so depressed. Why am I so fucking poor. Bah. Ngai Hon treated us to Billy Bombers. :D Thanks!

AHHH. I HAVE CHEM TEST! :\Oh anyway, Mrs Gan is real sweet. She gave each of the performers a rose. :D But I left mine with Ngai Hon. ):

Bah. Now I'm having a headache. And now I'm in a really bad mood.

Fuck.

it's all the same.

2006-03-28T00:55:00.000+08:00

I've just finish reading some of the band-ers blogs.

And I thought about my journey in band. It's amazing. We've been thus far. It has been so long. I can still remember when I was in Sec One, I was dragged to the band room by I-can't-remember-who. Then I saw them performing and decided hey, I should join band. And so I did.

Practices were tough. And at a point, I really dreaded band so much. I didn't feel like going for practices AT ALL.

Then, as SYF drew near, I stared enjoying band. Of course, being in the ex-co played a part.
SYF came and went.. And Mr Chong went too. I was sad, cos I like him though many others didn't. He was one lame instructor.. Heh.

Then Mr Sim came. I felt a sense of awkwardness. Cos I didn't know him as well as I knew Mr Chong, but then, gradually, I accepted the fact that he is our new instructor. And of course, I begin to respect him. His patience is amazing. And his devotion to band. He improved the band so much. And all our members respect him.

Now, after our 1st performance, all I can say is, Mr Sim is really a miracle to KCB.

Without him, the whole school will still be prejudiced against us.
Without him, we'll still have crap attendance.
Without him, we wouldn't be what we are today.

Very soon, I'll be leaving the band, but I'll definitely be in the Alumni. No matter what.

And I really really really want to say this from the bottom of my heart.

THANK YOU, MR SIM.

If we can, then we must. If we must, then we will.

WE ARE THE BEST.

I love KCB. Now. Forever. (:

2006-03-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

I HAVE SO MUCH TO UPDATE!! I promise, a hell lot of photos, but first...

THE PERFORMANCE WAS A GREAT SUCCESS! CONGRATS TO EVERYONE WHO PLAYED A PART IN "..."! IT WAS THE BEST PERFORMANCE EVER! (: 26 MARCH 2006, WE ROCKED ESPLANADE. :D I LOVE KCB SO MUCH, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

Saturday

Met Adriel, Brent, Jacklyn and Julia at J8.. Then we headed to City Hall, not without sitting all the way to Marina Bay though. Lol.

On the train. I think this photo's so funny. Adriel's smack right in between and with his blur expression, it really looks like he's thinking. LOL!

We found a uber cool place. We all became immortals. Brent, Adriel and Jacklyn could stand on water! *GASPS*

Here's Julia walking on water!

And Jacklyn!

And Brent!

Hahahaha.. Nah, it's just a place near Millenia Walk. Damn cool place though. Good for relaxation. Heh. I know I'm like super lame. Hahahahaha.

Sunday

It was THE BIG DAY!!!! All of us were so excited! Met up to have breakfast with them at Macs. :D These photos were taken before and on our way to Esplanade.

Adriel and Ron! The two guys in our band with their blings on! :D

Presenting.... The ultimate lamers of KCB.... RON AND KUO JINN! Hahaha..

***

First half was gone, we did great! And these were taken during the interval.

KCB, MY LOVE. A brand new uniform, a brand new start. :D But without our hero, Mr Sim, though. ):

Presenting...... SENG KEONG[Ngai Hon] FROM "..." ! Hahaha.. He looks like a clown!

Me, Jacklyn & Vic in our uniforms and braided hair! :D Love em so much!

Fall in, with Delphne and Nicolette taking the band for the last time.. And I realised it was my LAST performance. ): I love this band so so much.

***

The performance was OVER! We did the best we could and we rocked. The applause from the audience, the joy we all shared. All our hard work was paid off, and the sense of satisfaction was indescribable. We didn't let Mr Sim down. We are the best! :D

Brent & Eiji doing a brokeback on the way back to school! Lol!

We all ate at prata house! It was already 12 plus. Mr Sim came with us too! :D

***

Finally, the day was over. I was so happy and all. :D But was kinda sad when I reach home. No questions from my mum or sis. No asking how the performance went. I guess they just don't know how much it means to me. And none of them wished me good luck before I left house either. Well.... I guess it's just like that.

Monday

I met up with Adriel, Brent, Julia and Jacklyn again! LOL. Like de javu. And we went to City Hall again! But now with Leonard, Hui Min, Shi Jing and Pei Qin. Heh.

Me, Jacklyn & Julia on the train.. Again, we sat all the way to Marina Bay first. I have no idea why we enjoy doing that so much. Hahahahahaha!

Julia, Shi Jing, Hui Min, Jacklyn, Brent and Leonard! We were at Marina Square.

Brent and Leonard started brokeback mountain-ing! LOL.

And as usual, our dear Adriel has to sit on the floor wherever he goes, no matter where he is! :D

Hahaha! I love this pic. It's like the thousand-hand thingy! A vulgar one cos of Jacklyn's finger! LOL!

We went to Carl's Jr! They ate the Chilli Beef Fries or something.

Let's welcome ze lovely chefs! Wahahahaha!!

Beavers!

Leonard and Brent brokeback mountain-ing AGAIN!!!

Jacklyn's artpiece on a serviette. (:

*GASPS* Brent and Leonard are peeping!

Ze modelling competishion starts! :D Let's welcome Leonard, Brent and Julia!!

Moi, Leonard, Brent and Julia!

Hip hop modelling compeitishion! Hahahahah!

:D We're mad, I swear. A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE STARING AT US! Hahahaha.. But it was so fun!

Then we left Marina Square. Oh, we saw Vic! So coincidental! :D

Pei Qin, Shi Jing & Me! On 56 back to Bishan.. I don't know why I took 56 with them! I could have taken 133 or 857 back home! LOL.

Here's Adriel! Hahahaha..

***

Yes. I have sooooooo much fun! I just love all of them more and more each day! Hanging out with them just makes me laugh like mad! Heh. I think we are the lamest thing anyone can find[except for Ron and Kuo Jinn of course]!

I LOVE BAND & ALL THE BAND-ERS!!

Such a long post. So tiring. There's school tomorrow. Bah, I hate school. Haven't done my homework!! Ahhhh! Alright. I shall stop now. Goodnight people! ((:

I ONLY HAVE THIS TO SAY TO YOU:

YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER WITH A CAPITAL L. THANKS FOR MAKING ME LAUGH SO MUCH COS YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A JOKE YOU ARE. LIKE GET A LIFE ALREADY.

2006-03-24T22:46:00.000+08:00

Bah I hate it when this happen. Post got deleted. Fuck.

Too lazy to blog again.

I LOVE KCB!

Here's Muffin for you.

2006-03-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

WARNING! Extremely LOOOONG post. ((:

Finally, I have the time to blog. This week is hectic like hell.

~~Mon- Rehearsal~~

~~Tues- Practice~~

~~Wednesday- Full-dress Rehearsal~~

~~Thurs- Practice~~

Fri- Rehearsal

All for the upcoming performance!! I'm so excited. =D 26th March 2006. KCPSS very own production. ((: Anyway, I think I'm mad. I woke up at 5 yesterday morning. Adriel morning called me. Hahaha.. And, I cabbed down to Bishan to go to Prata House with them! Them meaning the band people. Like WTH! There was midnght charge and the fare was $7.50. Ahhhh. I have no idea why I wanted to go. Yes, I wanted! I think I'm going crazy really.

Took this out of boredom. I think the night scenery is nice.. I swear I've never been to Bishan in the wee hours of the morning before. Except for camps lah. Me and Adriel were sitting at the bus stop, waiting for Brent. Reached school at 7.05am. We were ALL red again! :D So nice! Heh. Didn't stay for devotion. Went to get ready..

On the way to Esplanade! Like we hanged our blazers and shirts onto the railings of the bus and they looked like curtains! Hahaha.. I love our new uniform. Lime green and black!! ((:

The changing room was awesome!! It looks like a hotel room without beds. And the toilet was SO clean. That's me, Vic and Jacklyn standing on top of the toilet bowl inside the cubicle. Hahahah! :D

We were playing Accidentally In Love I think.. :D

This is how we look from the back. I LOVE OUR UNIFORM!

Us on stage with Mr Sim! :D

Eiji on the drumset with his middle finger. Lol!

Eiji's probably gonna kill me if he sees this, but he look so cute and babyish, I HAD to post it. :D

Niki and Ron. After the rehearsal's over. I went crazy and started snapping everyone. Hahahah..

Brent and Adriel! I know Adriel looks, uhm, sleepy? But this was a candid shot. Heh. We were waiting for the bus to come.

Yes. The rehearsal was good, I guess. Esplanade is beautiful. "..." is gonna rock big time. I think almost all the groups are ready already. ((: After we were back in school, we dinnered at Mac's again. Like what's up with my diet plan man. ): And, we all decided to skip school today, but in the end we settled on just going late.

So this morning, we met at J8's Mac's[yes, I think we are loyal fans of Mac, that ultra sinful fastfood restaurant]. We ate breakfast and all.. Then Vic and me left for school at about 8.30? Yah. And I was so blur. Damn it. I thought English was the first two periods, it was actually P.E. and I couldn't find my class so I sat inside the toilet for God knows how long. -.- AHHH! Lol. Adriel, Brent, Amy, Pei Qin they all went to Brent's house! Damn, I should have followed them and not go to school so early. Haha.. They came to school at 11. Just nice for recess. Lol. I think it's so hilarious and I love it when we crazy people do stuffs like that together. :D Anyway, I was told that I was in for the netball inter-class. I don't want. I really don't want. If anyone of you reads this, I DON'T WANT. I don't wanna play though it's fun. I wanna sit down and cheer. Bah.

After school, we had practice! I am very very happy! Cos I manage to play a part that I didn't know how to play in Foxtrot! Woohoo!! :D I think we sounded alright. Brushed up on certain parts. Man, I really want us to sound the best on Sunday. And I think we will. (:

We headed for dinner after practice. Went to Prata House. Ate and all, crapped a lot, then walked back to J8 with Julia, Eiji, Aaron and Brent. Brent, Eiji and Aaron are so sweet. They accompanied me to wait for the bus. Not without Eiji gaying around though. Lol. Stupid Aaron keep disturbing me, ever since he joined band till now he just finds joy in disturbing me and seeing my pissed off look. Hahaha.. We crapped a lot. And yeah, didn't really feel like going home but it was getting late.

Anyway, I hope we can like hang out after the performance on Sunday! It'll be so cool cos I think it'll definitely be past midnight. Heh. Let's all go for supper people! :D

Yes. Man, I really love band so so so so much now. It's like making my life so much more interesting because of all the people I know. Really, I'm so glad I joined band. ((: I think our band can win the Lamest Band of the Year Award or something with people like Ron, Kuo Jun and Eiji. Hahahahah.. :D

I love band so so much. (:

look here. perhaps I'm in no position to say this, but i just wanna say, fuck off if you know you're gonna hurt her again. seriously, fuck off. haven't you hurt her enough? i'm sick of hearing about all your flings and your fucking heck care attitude towards her and everything. think of all the shit you've done to her before complaining that you don't like it when she talks to her guy friend. like hello? have you ever think of how she feels when you're out with other girls? fuck you man. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. i thought you would change. i doubt you ever will. if she really choose to leave, don't ever fucking come begging her to take you back. think about it. i don't want to see my friend getting hurt anymore. please, don't. can't you be the same person who would do anything for her? i miss that friend of mine. so much.

2006-03-20T22:50:00.000+08:00

Damn, I'm feeling so fucking tired, my eyes can barely stay open. Had insomia yesterday night. I didn't sleep at all. Before I knew it, my alarm clock rang and I had to go school for band. Damn. I'm pooped.

First day of school. I don't understand why teachers like to assume that we like coming back to school. Like hello? We need a break desperately. Who in the right mind who want to go back to school with all the holiday assignments undone? Speaking of which, I think I really gotta do my assignments soon. Bah.

Anyway, during English, I found out that the L1R4 for going to NP Mass Comm is 10!! WTF?! 10!! Omg. I died. I have no hopes of getting into Mass Comm already. Ahhh! ): Has rehearsal after school. It went quite well overall, and I hope that band's improving. I was thinking about the whole production. I think it's really cool. Hahaha.. And I can't believe it. 6 more days? Oh my god.

After rehearsal went to dinner with bandmates as usual. Heh. This time we didn't crap as much, but still had fun though. Haha.. Headed home after that and caught a little of Campus Superstar on TVmobile. I think Geraldine sang pretty well, and I really hope she gets in. ((:

Oh, oh! I saw my primary school crush on the bus. Kenneth. Oh my god, I swear he's so freaking hot. And cute. To me, that is. Ahhhhh! I almost fainted. Big eyes, ah beng with a tattoo on his wrist. =x Hahahhaahha. He still look good. He must be like 18 already. Whoa. Time flies. And I think he recognised me! Cos we sort of had eye contact. Oh my god. It has been so long man. Like when I was primary 6? We used to talk on the phone and all.. Like what we all do when we were at that age. All the silly things we do when we're crushing on someone. Hahaha..

Yup. Felt really happy after seeing him, I don't know why. And I started thinking about the primary school days as usual. Especially Primary 6, when all the interesting things happened. Haha.. Really miss those times.

I'm waiting for the Campus Superstar results. I swear I'm gonna fall asleep anytime.

hopeful.

2006-03-20T00:45:00.000+08:00

I'm still here. I've changed my layout again! ((: I know, the other one was barely a month old. But this was calling out to me! And I figured a white skin would be nice. Heh. I added a whole lot of crap at the side so that it'll look more filled up. Hahaha..

Damn, school starts tomorrow. And guess what? I haven't touched any of my assignments. Not a single one. Yay. I can just die. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's my big year. The O level year. And I'm so freaking slack. I don't have the drive to do anything or study. At all. Gosh, at this rate, I'll probably end up with a 30 plus L1R4 or L1R5. Bah.

I had a lot in mind just now. But I can't think of anything to blog about. Oh yes. Was reading Wanyi[http://potatomusmaximus.blogspot.com]'s blog and felt very touched by her latest post. She's Xiaxue's friend and I enjoy reading her blog. A lot. (: My sister's back from Krabi. Actually, she was already here when I blogged about my previous post. She is so tanned and I'm SO FREAKING ENVIOUS!!! Damn, imagine the sun, the sea, the beach. Whoa. B-E-A-U-tiful. I wanted to upload the pics my sister took, but now Blogger has some problems I guess. ): Man, I wanna go Krabi too. My sister went snorkelling! I wanna go snorkelling too!

I was telling my sis that maybe I can go there after O's with my girls. That is if my mum allow. I doubt it though. I'm still mummy's little girl. Hah.

I guess that's the thing about being the youngest. I know my mum pampers me. Not a lot, but she does. I know that she tries her very best to get me things that I want. And I'm not rich. We are just a middle-income family. I don't know why people think that I'm rich. I'm not! For one, I live in a 3-room-flat! How rich can I get? And I share a room with my sis too. Yeah.

Sometimes I think, would I rather be from a rich family but have workaholic parents or come from a family like mine. I choose the latter. Being rich may get me all the things I want in the world. But I doubt I'll be happy without my mum's love. And my sis. When we were younger, we always quarrel. Like always. And she'll win each time. I'll end up in tears. Haha.. I used to hate her a lot. Cos I felt that my mum loves her more than me. That everyone loves her more than me. It's weird, I know. Cos being the youngest, it should be the other way. My sister should hate me, not vice versa. But I didn't like my sis.

She was smart. Really smart. And hardworking. And independent. I hear stories from my mum that when she was young, she would rather be hungry than to wake my tired mum up from her sleep. The stories made me feel selfish, ashamed of myself. And at the same time, made me think that I could never be better than my sister in my mum's eyes. But I was wrong. My mum love us both. And now I know that she pampers me more than my sis. And I talk to her more often than my sis does too. Maybe because my sis's all grown up and working.

Now I feel that my relationship with my sis has grown for the better. We can laugh at each other's jokes and talk. Not about everything, but still talk. Though sometimes I feel that she's patronising me and all. Like wanting me to go to a JC instead of a Poly. Then again, I guess she doesn't want me to end up in her shoes. She just wants the better for me.

Yes, I love my mum and my sis hell loads. Even though now I rarely tell them that. Actually, I never tell them that. As for my dad, well, I'm glad he's not in Singapore. I like that females-only home that I live in. Not that I don't love him, I do. Just that I don't feel much for him cos I seldom get to see him. But I still love him cos he's my dad.

Indeed, I love my family. (: And I'm thankful for them.

maybe it will..

2006-03-19T18:38:00.000+08:00

Back!

Haven't been updating huh. Lol. Anyway, I went to Eiji's house on Friday. Correction, his bitch is MIKI, not NIKI. I'm sorry Niki, I didn't mean to call you a bitch. Hahaha. That bitch Miki is one helluva fierce ass. It bit me!!! Looks can so be deceiving. It looks so cute and all but the moment I put my hand close to her, she bared her teeth at me. AHHHH! Fierce bitch. I took photos of her and the guys acting mat. BUT, I went to repair my phone so I don't have 'em now. I'll get it back in like 1 month? Hahahaha..

Practice on Saturday was kinda fun but boring at the same time. We tried on our new uniform. I love it!! It's black and lime green!! ((: And the guys look HOT in it. Not all though. MOST. Ahhhh. We practised Accidentally In Love and oh man, the percussion rocked! I swear they all look so damn cute!!! Except for. Er hem. Shan't be mean here. Heh. But seriously, they look so cute lah. :D Yes, must take note of the percussionists during the esplanade performance! ((:

After practice, we went to eat at Macs.. And as usual, I laughed like mad. I can't believe the guys' lameness sometimes. Especially Ron!

Adriel eating chocolate sundae.
Ron: Adriel, why are you eating a sundae on a Saturday?
Adriel: -.-"'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Can you believe him?? There were so many other lame jokes I swear I almost died of laughter. But that was the lamest so I could remember it the clearest. HAHA!

Yup. So that's it. Today, I'll just rot at home and look forward to practice and seeing those lame guys tomorrow. 7 days to Esplanade performance. Oh. My. God.

sorry, i still am very.

2006-03-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

BACK HOME!

I had such a blast today! (: Went to school for the esplanade rehearsal. Got there really early though.. And we practised. We did okay during the performance.. :D Didn't screw up much. Heh. Got screamed at for not sitting properly though. Haha.. I think we kinda deserve that lah.. Oh oh, Band was ALL WEARING RED!! :DD I think that's like so cool! Hahaha.. A massive sea of red. I mean like all of us were complaining when we got our band tee that it was fugly and all but we still wore it together in the end!! That's the kinda spirit that I love in KCB. ((:

Anyway, after the whole rehearsal thingy, we headed for lunch as usual.. With like uh.. I think 20 odd people again.. After that we took a really really long time to decide where to go. Oh, people! I saw this damn nice NIKE bag that I like!!! $80+!! Any kind soul wanna buy for me?? :D We finally decided to go to Adriel's house!! Yup. Went there and played with Prince! Adriel's Shih Tzu. So cute!! A fluffy furball. (:

After that, Julia, Eiji, Brent and me went for dinner at some part of Bishan that I don't think I've been to.. Prime or something. Yup. Headed home after that. :D I love band people. I really do. ((: Oh, I pierced my ear today! But it's kinda not aligned.. ): Feel like closing it.. Sigh. Gonna keep it for a while first then decide.

I'm finally going to Queensway tomorrow!!! Then going to Eiji's house! With Julia, Leonard, Brent. :D Can play with his bitch, Niki, there. Heh.

Oh man, I really really love band so much. So thankful for all the friendships made and the crappy times we spend together. And of course, so thankful for our wonderful instructor/conductor, Mr Sim. (: Man, I'm so gonna miss KCB when I graduate. It'll probably be the only thing that I'll miss. If you're reading my blog, I LOVE Y'ALL BAND PEOPLE!! ((:

ecstasy.

2006-03-16T00:39:00.000+08:00

Oh my god I actually miss my sister. ):

Off to bed now. School tomorrow. Goodnight.

reminisce.

2006-03-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

我依然相信你还爱我
刘虹桦

你吻她那刻
心里有什么感动
她给的快乐
是否像我们有过
爱情原来也决定在来的对不对时候
不是你和我爱错了
当你们牵手眺望星空的时候
心中的美景是否像我们有过
爱情原来也会结束在还相爱的时候
不是你和我不曾心动
我依然相信你还爱我
只是结果离开我
否则你的眼怎会忧愁
我依然相信你是爱我
只是当时太软弱
否则直到今天不会不快乐
当你们牵手眺望星空的时候
心中的美景是否像我们有过
爱情原来也会结束在还相爱的时候
不是你和我不曾心动
我依然相信你还爱我
只是结果离开我
否则你的眼怎会忧愁
我依然相信你是爱我
只是当时太软弱
否则直到今天不会不快乐
如果青春就要告一段落
眼看我们被时间掩埋
那句再见你还没有说
我依然相信你还爱我
只是结果离开我
否则你的眼怎会忧愁
我依然相信你是爱我
只是当时太软弱
否则直到今天不会不快乐
否则直到今天不会不快乐

This song's damn nice.
From Peach Girl.

2006-03-15T14:05:00.000+08:00

My sister's off to Krabi[an island near Bangkok, by the way.]. ): I'm kinda worried for her lah.. Now Thailand is like so chaotic. Oh well. I hope she takes care.

Yesterday's trip to Malayia was so fun. I suddenly realised that I have a bunch of crazy uncles. I laughed so much.. Shopping was boring though. Cos we went to Giant. Bought lotsa chocolatey food!! ((:

Dinner was superb. Chilli and black papper crabs!! My favourites! :DD And, being the youngest there, I get to eat a lot. Hahahahha.. Yup.

Hmm.. Going to Andersen's later with my girls. (: Ice cream!!!

Shit lah. Like that how to diet?

back to before.

2006-03-14T14:20:00.000+08:00

Back from band. I'm going Malaysia later.. Wahahahaha.. Sinful night again. Go there sure eat a lot! Sigh. There goes my diet plan again. :
Anyway, I'm devastated!!! Cos Yu Yang is out!!!! What the hell. Damn pissing can. He sing better than Adriano!! Adriano forgot lyrics!!! WTH!! Damn pissed can. Yu Yang so cute, so hot, can sing and he got out!! Bahh. Khim also! Her voice like damn nice can. Hers is the nicest among all. And she's out. How fair. ): Devastating.

Hahhaha.. Was like screaming and shouting and whining today at band. Lol. Oh well, I guess it's just another competition.

Hmmm.. Band did well today!! ((: I'm happy cos Mr Sim is happy. :D Yup. I really hope we'll do well on Thursday to show those idiots that band can do well. Hahaha.. (:

Anyway, was chatting online with Russell yesterday.. About poly and JC.. And after talking to him he sort of make me hestitate about going to Poly. Aaahhhhh. Now I'm undecided. Blah. I'm scared I can't even do well enough lah!! OMG. What if I have to retain? *faints.

Heh. Yay, I can't wait to go Malaysia to shop and eat and shop and eat!! I shan't care about the calories for now. :D

priorities.

2006-03-13T17:49:00.001+08:00

I just went to the Campus Supersatr website out of fun... And I realised that.. The people who comment there have nothing better to do. All they do is criticise people they don't support. I mean, what the hell? Like come on, before you criticise, ask yourself if you have the guts to stand in front of so many people to perfomr. Fucking dickheads.

AND, all of them types like this:

hehh . renfred skewl mate nn HYY . shut up larh yiew all .yiew all support renfred jiuu support renfred larh .support hhim oshho doonch nnid tto ccum hhere nn scold yuyang warnn lorh . HYY . wwen yuyang sing make yiew vomit dden ddonch hear hhim sing larh . nn dderh oone hhu claim tt yiew rr renfred skewl mate . ss iif ii care . yiew saee yiew sing 10 tymms betta dden yuyang rrite . iif tts dderh case yiew shud bb iin dderh competition . iif nnort dden yiew shud juzz shut euur bitch mouth nn fark orf frm hhere larh . chee byee kia .

Pls lehhs... dun post those sarcastic remarks jus becus ur jealous of him larrhs.. hes trying veryy hard to improve le.. why cant euu all giv him a chance? seriously, no matter how much euu hate 1 person, u shud keep it to urself and not post heree to tell everyone..every contestant in this competetition is good.. or else how they come into the top 20? if renfred is not good he will b out already. i dunno y u guys nn girls hate himm so muchh. but i just hope that euu ppl will b more reasonable and stop giving sarcastic remarks. if euu think u r so good, better den him denn come into the competition. hw wud euu feel if i gib euu this kind of remarks when euu are on the stage singing. euu will definitely feel upset rite? pls put urself into other ppl's shoes before euu sae anything that will hurt e person..renfred, jiayou.

FUCK! So irritating. AAAAARGH.

all ofb euu go tuhh hell lahzzz. shut upp norx.

ROLLS EYES.

I'm particualrly pissed because so many people in there dissed Yu Yang. WTH. Seriously, those people dissed practically ALL the contestants. Argh. LOSERS.

2006-03-13T15:35:00.000+08:00

I finished Peach Girl yesterday night. (: It's really a great show. It's different because the lead actress chose the guy who likes her instead of the guy whom she likes in the end.. (: Vanness is HOT. Hahaha..

But it kinda sucks to be the other guy.. I mean, it hurts so much to watch the one you love drift away from you and fall in love with another guy without being able to do anything. :\ But he's so sweet lah.. Willing to do anything just to make the girl happy. I guess that's what's love is about huh. Just letting the one you love be happy. (:

[Note: this post ain't against ANY religion at all, it's just my thinking.. don't be offended please.]

Was just thinking about death that day. Like what happens after one dies.. Well, Christians believe in going to heaven or hell, Buddhists believe in reincarnation.. But I guess all these are just beliefs. Cos no one will ever know how it's like after death. I mean, those who do know can't live to tell their story, right?

I'm like really curious.. What happens after death. Do you really go to heaven or hell? Do you really wait in the line to be reincarnated? I don't know. No one can prove all these cos it's just a belief. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not. Then again, maybe after you die, everything just stops. Like nothing happens. It's just the end and you won't even know you're dead. Hmmm. So weird to even think of it. Or maybe it's just like Professor Binns in Harry Potter. You die, you don't realise you're dead and the next day you just wake up and do whatever you always do.

I don't know. For me, as a freethinker, I always imagine that after you die, you're just your soul and you can roam around anywhere and see whoever you want. You just look at the world from a third person's point of view. I think that'd be cool. (:

Ahh, yes. Such a mystery.

nostalgia..

2006-03-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

Weeee! Had so much fun today! (: I'm really beginning to love band so much.. And it saddens me to know that I'll be leaving this bunch of wild and crazy people in another 8 months or so. ):

Had meet-the-parents in the morning.. There was so much food, I swear I've gained a kilo by eating all that. Muffins made by Lucinda's maid and brownies made by Simaa's maid were DE-LI-CIOUS. So damn nice la.. (: After that, I went for band! Our hoe down sound SO much nicer now man. The confidence level is creeping back. Like what our hero, Mr Sim, said Failure is just another step to Success. (: KCB can do it. :D

After band, we went to J8. Like uh, 20 of us. Yes. So freaking cool. Hahhaha.. Adriel wanted to pierce his ear so ALL of us accompanied him. Audrey was there too.. (: I wonder how he survived the stress of piercing with so many eyes on him. Hahaha.. He got three piercings at once by the way and he looks good with them. Heh. After which, we went to pastamania for lunch then headed to PS cos Jacklyn and Audrey wanted to watch Nanny McPhee. There was only the first row left. So we didn't watch. Oh, CLEO's 50 Eilegible bachelors were there!! I swear some of them are drop dead gorgeous and damn HOT. :D

Oh, we saw something fucking disgusting while queueing up. There was this couple, probably a married man and his mistress of something, and they were like hugging each other and all. And.. THE MAN FUCKING STUFF HIS THUMB IN HER ASSHOLE!!! Like he was pulling her jeans down till her butt crack was so visible and his thumb was IN her jeans and like in the middle of her butt crack. WHAT FOR FUCK'S SAKE DID HE DO THAT FOR????!!!! It was utterly DISGUSTING I swear. Audrey and Adriel even took photos. Hahaha! Go ask from them GROSS!!! Argh, like FUCK! Sick in the head assholes.

We went to Yamaha and all.. And I had this crazy wish to get myself a clarinet. Oh well, maybe next time. If I plan to join band in JC or Poly. Which I think I will. Hmmm. We sat outside the SonyEricsson shop and all started playing with Brent's trumpet. Lol. In public. :D After that, we wanted to go Audrey and Adriel's house but I thought it was too late cos I gotta be back for dinner so I didn't go. I don't know if the rest did though.

Ahh, what a fun fun day!!! It's such great fun to hang around with all of them. Monday dinner gang and others. (:

Yup, that's about all. Oh, I'll be starting my plan of Diet, Scrimp and Save from tomorrow onwards. I've GOT TO lose weight. Getting fatter and fatter. Argh. Gotta save too. I hate being so broke. Yeah. That's it. Till the next time, byeeee! :D

sorry..

2006-03-11T00:54:00.000+08:00

I like my new skin. Reckon I needed a new one cos I was getting kinda bored with the old skin though it's really nice. Ahhh, now my whole family is so into Peach Girl. It's like a damn old show but it's so nice. Recommended to those who have not watched it.

The show's like damn sad lah. Sigh. Why is it always like that in shows and movies.. It's so heart-wrenching. Sigh. ):

Anyway, Vanness is HOT. Though he's a little too fair lah. But I like his body man.. And his height. He's so cute! (: Hmmm. Speaking of cute, Alex Fong is another hottie!!! Plus, he sings freaking nice canto songs!! Ahhh. Love him love him love him! (:

Uh, seriously, I don't know what I am doing here again, at this hour, when I gotta wake up at like 0630 tomorrow. But well, the com was on and I was kinda bored so.. Heh. Yup.

I'm kinda pooped already. Think I'll hit the bed now. Bye again. Night, people.

turn time back again.. if only.

2006-03-10T19:04:00.000+08:00

Ahh, back.

Yesterday was. Blah. Mixed emotions. I was bloody pissed then nervous, then disappointed, then guilty. I almost fucking cried. I really wanna apologise to Mr Sim. He's the best. Seriously he is. His limit of patience and encouragement amazes me. I don't wanna go into details of what had happened. I'll just start scolding and talking about how prejudiced teachers are again. I don't know. I mean, before you wanna say that band is lousy, please go fucking learn an instrument. Fucking dickhead. I hate that man. Bah. They don't understand. They never will.

Sigh. I feel damn weird now. Was looking at my past class photos. It's a miracle how I can screw things up so much. Sigh.

Oh, holidays are here. But I gotta go back school practically everyday though. But it's because of band so I don't mind. Ahhh. I don't know. Tomorrow's meet-the-parents. Mum's not going as usual. Hahaha.. Of all my 4 years in KCP, she never came once. (:

Yeah, can't think of anything else to write. Feeling tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Till the next time, take care. Tatars.

i miss all of you, really. ):

2006-03-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

ANTM. Jayla got out. Kinda expected lah. She hasn't been doing well. But I'm kinda sad though. ): I like her.

Lots of things are going on in school now. Interesting things, I see. Like swtich the names and you can get the exact same scenario I'd been through. Uh huh. Like I know you all don't get it but whatever, some people do. I just fucking hate it. I've heard stuffs today and it totally got me down. I just don't understand why must it be this way and all. Like hey, white flag. I surrender alright. I'm like outta it. Ahhhh. Seriously, I don't know why I bother. And I don't know why it is bothering me. Bah. I don't even think I'm making sense but yeah.

Sometimes I feel like I'm so out of touch with everyone. I don't know. Everyone's so caught up with their own lives. Sometimes I'm there, but not really there. It sucks big time. Too many things on my mind right now. Sighs.

Esplanade rehearsal yesterday and tomorrow. I must say that the teachers are really cool and fun. (: Though really, band didn't do to the best of our ability. I hope with Mr Sim being there tomorrow things will be better. Anyway, heard that Grace Chua thinks that band is the weakest. Like WTF, you know-nothing bitch, go get a life. You just came in like this year, so stop acting like you know the school very well. And oh by the way, your English fucking sucks big time. Know when to have your s's and when not to, loser. Stop all your hypocriticism in front of the band alright. I know that band isn't doing very well, but at least we try. Even if we really are the weakest, don't all our efforts at least stand out. Maybe all teachers are like that. Fucking hypocritical and all. Fuck, I mean, stop acting like "Oh, yes, the band's improving" and the next moment you go like "Ahhh, Band? Cannot make it". Fuck all of you man. Band can do it. We'll prove it to you and see with your own fucking eyes, assholes.

Seriously, I don't know why I care. It just sucks to put in so much effort and people just judge you like that. Aaargh.

it doesn't matter if everyone doesn't understand you.
all that matters is that your loved ones do.

Got this from Peach Girl. I think it makes sense. So I should stop caring about how others view me because they don't know a single shit that I've been through. Let them assume whatever they want to. It's not like I insist that I wasn't wrong. Whatever. I shan't say anymore. My point is, go ahead, judge me, you don't know anything.

that rising hatred deep within.

2006-03-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm. My life's getting stagnant. How I wish..

One day, I'm gonna meet this uber hot and cute and hunky ah beng whose dad is some underworld triad gang leader or something. Hmmmm. He's gonna be TALL. Like 180 plus. He's gonna look like... Well, I don't know. Big eyes, dimples, tanned. With some cool hairstyle. Hahahahaha.

His life's gonna be damn interesting because of his dad. :D He is NOT gonna be some ii-lubb-euu guy. He will speak proper english. Hmmm. He can fight. HAHA. He can play the piano and guitar and drums. (: He has cool friends. Hahahaha.. He will have the same taste in music as me! He will like chinese and canto songs. And whatever nice english songs. Heh. He'll be damn rich too. And he can afford to buy me LEE HWA PURPLE GOLD or Destinee. He is old enough to drive and has his own car. Maybe about 18. [Uh, 18 can drive?] He will be willing to splurge on me. :D YES. My perfect guy.

Drama la, I know. Just my imagination so must make him as perfect as possible.. Haha.. Of course he'll have everything that a good boyfriend has. Like trust, faith, etc. Yes. Ahhhhh, so perfect.

Now tell me, WHERE TO FIND???? Not even in my dreams. Aaargh. Nowadays, cute ones not tall, tall ones not cute, cute and tall ones either attached already or character sucks or gay. Geez. I should just become a les. More choices. HAHAHAHA.

-

MONDAY KCB DINNER GANG.

Members: Adriel, Brent, Eiji, Jacklyn and yours truly.
Venue of meetings: Anywhere in J8 that serves food. [Well, duh, DINNER?]
Objectives: CRAP, CRAP AND MORE CRAP.

We talk about absolutely everything. HAHAHA.
Awww. I just love hanging out with them soooooo much. Fucking make me laugh so hard. Man, I guess the only thing I'm gonna miss after graduating is well, most of the members in band. ): Oh well. I still can't wait to graduate though. Hah.

Alright. Crap enough already.. Till here. Toodles!

get lost.

2006-03-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

SENTOSA TODAY!!!!!! :DDD

Haha.. Didn't get to tan much though. But I wore my new bikini! (: Alas, forget to bring my cam.. So no photos for now. Heh. Went with Val, Mal and Felic. Ziya, Keefe and Mel were already there.. Was supposed to be a surprise for Ziya lah.. But I guess we were too obvious cos Ziya knew about it. Ahh. Lol. Eugene came with Jason and Kenrick. Haha.. Had lotsa fun lah.. Do all the stupid stuffs we did like last year.. Smashing the cake on Ziya's face.. And she lost her present AGAIN! Just like last year. Haiyo. Fell into the sea. Bah.

Ahhh. Alone at home now. I'm feeling so bored. Supposed to go play mahjong but I was feeling too lazy to go to Bedok from Harbourfront.

Tired. Feel like sleeping now. Till then, tatars! ((:

all came rushing back. fool.

2006-03-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

ANTM yesterday. Bre is a fucking bitch!!!!! She's like. Argh. Such a two sided slut. Eeeeee. So pissed that she didn't get out. Kim is like so much better than her lah. Grrr. It's alright. Bre won't win. Cos I know the winner already. Lol. I like Jayla. Though she's like damn bitchy but I like her attitude! Haha.. Her eyes are so pretty! (: She's cool.

Hmmm. Watched the Superstar Idol drama just now. Their acting is quite bad. I think they should stick to singing. Hah.

Band today. We improved!!!! :D I AM SO HAPPY WHEN MR SIM SAID THAT. But we really have to work a lot harder for the upcoming Esplanade performance. 24 more days. :\ Scared ah. I love band when we're having combined. (:

Yadah yadah yadah. That's about all. I wanna graduate like NOW. Tars~

dont come back.

2006-03-01T17:42:00.000+08:00

I'm home. Hah.

BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

I think I'm fucking careless. 12 divide by 100 is 1.2 . WTF? Aaaargh. But whatever. It's only Physics. Geog tomorrow. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Sky's not dark yet, I can't study. Lol. Nothing gets into my head.

Oh yeah, got the O level schedule thingy. Only 11 days! And out of 11 days, only 7 days have papers. (: O level's ending on 161106!!! :D Shall countdown. I CAN'T WAIT. I mean its like totally cramped or something but I'd rather it be all together then at least we can totally go wild after that. Not like having a loooong break before your last paper. I think it totally spoils the mood lah. I CAN'T WAIT FOR O'S TO FUCKING COME AND GO!!!!!

Yeah. That's about all. Needa go make food for my bitch. (: Toodles.

respect you for that.

2006-02-28T19:58:00.000+08:00

haiis* todae skool sho siian wors. nth tuhh do derx. whole dae jux liisten tuhh der teacherr tok.. b0riing siiax. haiis* h0w ii wiishh ddat lyffe cann bbe more iinterestiing.... ii mish moii darr darr sh0 muchh wors. lubb hiim 184 lehhs.. **``**`` la0g0ng;; ii lubb iieuu forreber wors.

LOL. Just wanna piss people off. :D Was just looking at the way my cousin[she's sec one] and her friends type. I almost fainted. God. Now it's no longer "euu", it has become "iieuu". Tell me, WHAT THE FUCK? It seriously makes no sense. In time to come, it'll probably be "yyiieuuu" or something. Aaargh. Whatever happen to speak Good English??

Ah. Was so irritated by Blogger just now. Bloody hell. Just refused to sign me in. Grrr. Oh yes, I'm sooooo happy that Geraldine got in for Campus Superstar! (: Kinda weird but yes. I was like praying and praying so hard. That girl totally rocks lah. She's oozing with personality man. I love her voice so much! For now I'll support her for girls and Yu Yang for guys. :D Hahahah.. I like Khim's voice too. Low and sexy man. Hahaha.. I don't like Theresa though. She's too..... guai. Like practically perfect. Too clean already. I don't like. Lol. Just saw the Channel U's programme showing Renfred! Haha.. He's kinda cute also. Rich kid. Heh.

Yes, Physics test tomorrow and I haven't even touched the notes. Ah, whatever. Physics fucking suck. Aaargh.

Wo bu yao du shu le!!!!!!!

last teardrop fall.

2006-02-27T22:10:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes. Read my previous previous post and read Serene's blog.

I do wanna go back to those days. Those "I don't friend you" days. (: Because then, it seems like no matter what we do, there was nothing to worry about. Everything was just like it is. No complications. Nothing. No lies, no fakes. We don't have to pretend to be who we aren't.

Those days, no matter how bad the mistakes we make, no matter how we quarrelled, everything will be fine in the end. Everyone just forget about all our silly faults. We may be enemies one day, and the next we'll be fine again. Like me and Val. Like me and Serene.

Yes, those letters we wrote to each other. Till now when I read them, they still make me laugh. How naive we were. Everything was just black or white. Right or wrong. There was no grey, there was no maybe. Innocence- what we lost in the process of growing up.

Now everything is just so tiring. We must think before we speak, think before our every action. Because now, one mistake is enough for the whole world to judge you. Just one.

Growing up is seriously a painful process. Why can't we be like before. As carefree as we were. Why can't things be less complicated.

Life is really dragging me down. I hate the responsibilities we have to face as a grown up, as a teen.

If only time can bring us back to our innocent days when all we do is have fun.

If only. I miss those days badly.

break me up.

2006-02-27T21:33:00.000+08:00

Back.

I just thought of something my sister said. I got quite a number of English songs from my cousin's Zen that day.. And my sister said, "Why got so many English songs??? IT'S POLLUTION!!!!"

Lol. You tell me lah, with a sister like that, how to not be in love with Chinese/Canto pop? Heh.

Hmmmm. Alright. I watched Final Destination 3 yesterday with my family. My first NC16 movie!!! Wahahahaha..

The show is... FUCKING GORY!!! But it rocks. Haha.. I mean, the directors sure love blood man. It's quite nice overall. If you like gory stuff. It's so nerve-wrecking to see them trying so hard to escape death but still end up dead all the same.

God. That made me wonder if death is really so vicious. Shudders.

Ahhh. Had fun trying to scare Jacklyn with the gory details of FD3 today together with Brent and Eiji. Hahahahaha.. She had to resort to talking to herself so as to not hear us. Didn't work anyway. Heh.

Yeah, about all. Mundane school life. Can't wait for it to be OVER.........

hurt.

2006-02-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I'm bored. ): Supposed to go to my aunt's today but in the end, didn't go! Ahhh.

I'm so bored I'm on the verge of tearing my hair apart. Jacklyn and Julia asked me out but I'm too lazy to. Val asked me out too.

See! It's happens everytime. I'm bored, I whine, I hope poeple will ask me out, but when they do, I feel too lazy to go out already! Ahhhhhhhhh. Just what the hell is my problem. ): SULKS. I'll just ROT at home. Bah.

Ah, whatever. I shall blog somemore.

I've been thinking a lot about my past lately. Like running my whole life through my head.. All the people I've met.. Everything I've been through..

When I was young at around 7 or 8, I cry a lot. Like really A LOT. Every little thing, I'll just cry. People take my things, I cry. People scold me, I cry. And as a result, my relatives nicknamed me "tissue paper". God knows why but now each time I think about it, it'll just make me laugh. Haha..

When I was 10, in Primary 4, I will wake up everyday, throwing tantrums, telling my mum that I don't wanna go to school. Almost everyday, it'd be like that. I was afraid of school then. Afraid of my teacher. I was so stupid.

All the people I met throughout primary school. I remember I used to be really good friends with Michelle, Nicole and Sing Hui. But all of a sudden, when we grew older, I guess I changed. I became, well, naughtier. And they were the obedient students. I was the loud one. Then there was Cathleen. She went overseas. And Friendster actually brought us back together again. (: And Sarah, I was really close to her during Primary 4 to 6. Jiayi too. And of course, Jiamin, Yuan Xiu.

Then there are friends whom I quarrelled with, often, but always make up in the end.. Like Val and Serene. And who could have forgotten about those guys who were the reasons we quarrelled. Meiyuan, Kelvin, Ryuju. And the others- Guo Cai, Shafiq, Victor, Noel, Yi Cong.... so many more. I miss them. I miss them all soooo much. It's sad that as we grow up, we lose contact. I guess in one way or another, all these wonderful people made a difference in my life. Without them, I probably wouldn't be who I am today. And I really wanna say thanks. (:

And of course, to those who are always there for me now..

Mel, Ziya, Val, Vic, Mal, Jacklyn, Julia....

THANKS A WHOLE LOT BABES. I LOVE YAH ALL.
(:

maybe one day everything will fall back into place..
i'll be praying..

2006-02-25T14:06:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha. I didn't go school yesterday! It was damn hilarious. I woke up as usual, got to the bus stop as usual, only that this time, Val and me missed the earlier bus. So yeah, we waited. We already had thoughts of not going to school the day before. We saw 31.. and we were like "Don't take lah".

We waited, knowing that by taking the next 13, we'll probably be late for school and I cannot be late for school anymore this term or else I'll have to serve a week's suspension from class. That means to sit outside the General Office for one whole week from 8 to 6? Yes. That's utterly stupid. That's why I didn't wanna go to school. Because I'd rather NOT go to school for one day and still be able to enjoy lessons than to GO LATE for school one day and get suspended from lessons for the next 4 days. That's utter stupidity. Seriously, I don't know how much stupider can the school get.

So yeah, we waited for 13 and it came! At like 6.50? So we boarded, and as usual slept on the bus and we reached Bishan at like 7.20. It will be impossible to reach school in 10 mins, we have to walk all the way from J8 to school. Oh well, maybe it would have been possible but we didn't wanna take the risk and reach at like 7.31 or something. So Val and me happily cross the bridge, AND WAITED FOR THE 13 HEADING HOME. :D lol. I think a lot of people on the bus thought that we were playing truant. Hmmm. Maybe we were, but whatever. Haha.

So yes, I slept my Friday away. It so didn't feel like a school day though.

Hmmmm. Yeah. I miss going out with the babes in home clothes. I miss playing pool. Sighs.....

Bye.

your shadow fades away..

2006-02-23T19:59:00.000+08:00

GIRLS AND THEIR PMS.

Sometimes I hate being a girl. Other times, I love it. All the PMS, mood swings and all. It feels really crappy. Like nowadays, I seem to feel so irritated by everyone around me. I don't know why. It seems like I'm drifting into my own world. Far away from everyone else. Like no one understands me anymore, even those whom I am close with. Sometimes I would really wanna be a guy. All they worry about is soccer, LAN, and horny stuffs. Hah. They get over unhappy stuffs fast too. How fair is that. Sighs. Life's a bucket of shit.

Haha.. The last sentence just came to my mind. LOL.

I'm taking the big O's this year. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I really am. But I just don't feel like doing anything about it. School's getting me down. (Though I'm beginning to get A. Maths Logarithms!) Our V.P.'s English sucks big time. 44 grammar/pronounciation mistakes throughout her whole presentation. And we didn't start counting from scratch. God.

I realised I'm back to sharing my mundane school life here. Bah. A more interesting post next time maybe. Ta~

the call that never came..

2006-02-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

I have a sudden thought today.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I don't want any tears at my funeral.
I don't want sad mournful songs.
I want a cool funeral.
And I want everyone to be happy.

It's kinda hard to fufil.
But I wanna have a happy funeral.

no goodbyes.

2006-02-21T19:06:00.000+08:00

I am feeling random. Like oh so random I feel like saying whatever I wanna say.

12478597578579654785569.

That was crap. What is there to blog about? Lemme think. AH yes, since I blog about ah lians yesterday, today, I shall blog about AH BENGS. :D

Haha.. People who know me will know that I, uh, have this thing for ah bengs. Or bad boys. LOL. I think ah bengs are cute. Well, not all of them of cos. Ah bengs are loyal. Or so I think. So far no one has spoil my image of ah bengs yet. Heh. Ah bengs. Nowadays, there are only those KNNBCCB chinese ah bengs. No more english ah bengs left. But oh well, chinese ah bengs aren't that bad as well. (: Not those anyhow stare here stare there then fight kind. Or those who "zut" here " zut" there. LOL. Those not irritating ah bengs. Nice ah bengs. Heh.

Why do I like ah bengs? Hahahaha.. Seriously, I have no idea. I'm probably just too influenced by all the Young and Dangerous shows that I watch ever since I was young. Young and dangerous rocks. Because I find Ekin hot. Hahahahah.. And don't you think the loyalty in the show is so cool? Like the one for all, all for one spirit. (: Ah bengs make nice friends. Like Meiyuan. Though I hate to admit that he's a nice friend. He bullies me! So yes, ah bengs.

Another reason I think why I like ah bengs. Because they fight. Hahahahah.. I, uh, kinda like to watch a fight. Not girls fight, but guys fight. Though I haven't seen one in ages. LOL. I'm kinda sadistic I know. Heh.

Alright. Maybe if I wish hard enough, one day, I'll meet this tanned, hot, and tall ah beng. Hahhaha.. One who seem fierce and doesn't give a heck about anyone on the outside but after knowing him he'll soften and he's actually an uber nice guy. Yeah. If only. Geez, like such a guy exists. I'll have to stop dreaming. Hah.

On another note, Spirited Away is a nice show. (: Watched it in school today.

Yeah, enough of rants.
.
.
.
.
Maybe that dream ah beng will appear one day. HAHA.

im not oh-fucking-kay.

2006-02-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

Darius
Live Twice

Don't leave now
Not yet
There were time we regret
And I'm sorry
Somehow
I only
Wanted to make you proud

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice

When you told me
I froze
It still echoes
In my soul
Please forgive me
If I didn't say
I love you
Every single day

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice

Nobody told me we'd only get one chance
I didn't know that our tide would turn so fast
Why we have to say goodbye I don't understand

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice

I could not let it pass me by
Nothing I give to sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
We'll meet in another life
If only we could live twice

the hurt's too much to bear. someone just take me away please.
)':

2006-02-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

I'm back.

Today, I shall not blog about the mundane life at school. Other then, I really enjoyed the dinner with Jacklyn hon, Brent and Eiji. (: Monday night dinners are the best. Crap so much I feel so happy after each session. Heh.

Let's see what I feel like blogging about today. I know, AH LIANS. God damn it. Not ah lians, but rather, ACT-ah lians. I mean, I'm totally fine if you are the true blue KNN-fuckyou-CB ah lian, but please. DON'T TRY TO ACT LIKE ONE!!! FAKE!

You see, I was happily boarding the bus home and unfortunately, I sat beside this two "lians", one of which was blasting her MP3 phone with some disgusting techno music. Out loud. With no ear-piece. On speaker. LIKE WTF! You inconsiderate bitch, you are in a fucking bus with lotsa people around you whom I think DO NOT have the same frequency in your genre of music. SHUT UP ALREADY! Thankfully, I have my MP3 on so I wasn't affected by that horrible noise.

But that's not all. One of them got a phone call. AND SHE HAD TO TALK SO FREAKING LOUD!!! Like " Ni zai na li? Kuai dian lai lah. Wo men yao dao le. Yao dao le. Ta cab ah, ta cab! " T.T Irritating FREAKS. Goodness. And that "lian" started talking about her "stead" to the other one, whom I can see is just a follower and definitely NOT an ah lian, just an act-lian. God, seriously, I hate the word "stead". It's so.. not a word! Like can't you say boyfriend or something? At least it sounds nicer. She talked in that same volume throughout the whole conversation. Like what her "stead" care about her a lot, don't like her to stay out late, don't like her to go out often.... BLAH BLAH BLAH. God damn it. I'm fucking not interested in your lovely relationship with that "stead" of yours. ARGH. That's how inconsiderate people can be.

And OH!! Throughout the whole journey, till I got off, that bloody MP3 phone of hers was still on. GRRRR. Oh, they were cam-whoring in the bus too. And that loud girl actually have the face to say " eh, zhe ge hen cute hor.", refering to the bloody act-cute photo that the both of them took. You know, those that I've mentioned before. With the HUGE eyes and forced out dimples? Yeah. Like oh my God. How despicable can one get.

Geez. Get a life already.

if only i could live twice..

2006-02-16T22:37:00.000+08:00

Schooool. I'm sick of school. Bleahs.

P.E. in the morn. Played netball. Haha.. Quite fun cos as GS, I do not have to run! :D The girls won the boys. Girls rule!! Hahaha.. Sexist. Bored lah. Went for the Compre talk after school. It scares me to know how many careless mistakes I can make. Ahhhhh! After that, band. Foxtrot, Hoe Down and Merry-go-round is so nice! (: Heh.

Ate at KFC with Val, Ian, Mel and Gladys. Tsk. Growing fat. So sinful. Reached home at like 8.30 and for the first time, cos my sis was using the com, I realised I had nothing to do. Lol.

Oh YES. I was and still am so pissed because I only have 15 points for CCA! God damn it. I have been actively participating in band and I dare say that I NEVER gave them ANY attendance problems at all and what do I get? A FREAKING 15. That's like B4! All the ex-cos are around this range. What a joke. Like band. Performances, and we have ranks too, and we get so freaking low. Even air rifle gets above 20!!!! Grrr. Just what the hell is wrong with the school. It'd better be some error. Screw them.

Also, I'm considering about dropping A. Maths but I don't feel like. But I'm really afraid I'll screw up! I plan to go Mass Comm. and I don't need A. Maths for that. So I'm like really indecisive. Argh. School's crap.

Alright, I'm gonna be a good girl and turn in early tonight. Gotta find a way to get rid of those disgusting eye bags. (: Tatas.

everything's running through my head.

2006-02-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

歌手:胡彦斌
歌曲:Waiting For You

金色的舞鞋伴着音乐
Baby 你的眼睛是一弯深邃的湖水
Oh 忽明忽灭
掩藏不可思议的美
让我晕眩像在悬崖边
谁知一睁眼就不见
Waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you kiss me at the night
为何你 Cinderella
留给我一望无际的思念
Waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转
一直到黑发变成了银线
Waiting for you
Waiting for you 直到永远
Oh 忽明忽灭
掩藏不可思议的美
让我晕眩像在悬崖边
谁知一睁眼就不见
Waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you kiss me at the night
为何你 Cinderella
留给我一望无际的思念
Waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转
一直到黑发变成了银线
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you..

brings back memories.
i like this song. the mtv is sad. ): imagine waiting for someone in a coma to wake up for a damn long time. and at the very moment you gave up, that person wakes up. sighs.

Changed my skin. I love it.

give me a reason..

2006-02-15T21:44:00.000+08:00

Here again. I'm supposed to do my Geography assignment. Haha. :
Sighs. Boring day, boring life. I wish O levels can like just quickly come, quickly go. I'm sick of secondary school life!!! NP. I can't wait to go NP. Argh.

Went to Mel's house after sch with Ian and Val. Played with Marion! (: So cute lah she. Generous with her kisses. Heh. Went back at about 6 plus.

Ahh. Life's so boring I can just die.

Oh, during Chem extra lessons today, when Mrs Gan wasn't around, Wene was damn funny as usual! Haha.. He suddenly shouted very loudly, then started singing, "He's got the whole world.. in His hands, He's got the whole world.. in His hands...."[The morning assembly song.]
We all started laughing like nuts. Heh. And whenever someone says "Fantastic!", he goes "Fan(4)-tastic!"[the Macs thingy.] Lol. Crazy ass. 4Peace class clown. :D Brings laughter to every lesson. Haha..

Alright. Shall be a good girl and do my Geog now. Wanna watch America's Next Top Model later.. (: Toodles~

my bloodied valentine.

2006-02-14T19:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE!! (:

I received prezzies and cards!! From girls lah. Heh. It shows that girls are more thoughtful than guys. Lol. :D

School passed quite fast. Though I was really on the verge of sleeping the whole day. Haha.. Mrs Gan just have to stress us by telling us in detail the results of last year's O levels. MSG for Chem and Physics and such. God. It just made me realised that I'm freaking unprepared. Ahhhhh! What if I get my results and see all Nines?!?! Gosh. I'm freaking scared of O's. I really am. ): Stupid thing.

In class today, me and Mel were like discussing where to find cute guys. Cute AND rich. Heh. So we were saying we'll go Sentosa someday to find HOT guys with like Mambo/Stussy boardshorts and some Abercrombie and Fitch shirt, maybe. Hahaha.. Then another day we'll go town and hang around Paragon or Taka where rich people go. :D But alas, after Chingay especially, I realised that guys nowadays are SHRINKING. NOOO! Cute guys especially. *faints. Why?!?! Haha. But seriously. I look at the Sec 2s/3s in our school and like the girls are getting taller! Tsk. What's wrong with the world?!?!?!

Ayeeee. Alright, that's all folks. Enough of complaints. (: Buh-bye!

hanging by a thread.

2006-02-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with relatives today. So sad. It's the end of CNY already. ):

Yesterday's outing with the girls and friends was fun! (: Realised I haven't been to Fish and Co. for the longest time ever. Haha.. Out with three couples. Me and Mel keep acting lesbians and this two ladies actually thought that we were drunk or something. Heh. Hilarious! :D

Band tomorrow. Seriously, I feel damn pissed when the previous batch of ex-cos have to freaking interfere. Whatever happened during the last practice is still on my mind and it's still pissing me off like ever. So what if you guys are our seniors. You all are supposed to be graduated already. For goodness sake. Can't you just leave the band to us. I don't see any of the previous previous ex-cos interfering when it was your turn to run the band. Maybe your opinions will do us well. But other than giving us your opinions, I feel that you all should just stop intefering. And stop scolding the freaking band like you all are in charge or something. Shut up already! I hate the way all of you think that you all have the power to manipulate us just because you all are older than us and stuff like that. You all DON'T.

Gotta sleep early. Band's at 7. Till then. Goodnight.

running through my head..

Release of O level results.

2006-02-11T13:51:00.000+08:00

Yes. It was so scary! The tension. The hopes. And next year, we're gonna experience it. God!

Results. Top scorers were expected. A major surprise for all of us - Russell got L1R5: 10, L1R4: 7!!!! OMG! We are all soooooooo proud of him. :D The results of going to the CC to study everyday ever since WE started our EOY last year. (:

Yeah, Mum has been complaining about the electricity bills. Sighs. So off I go. Tata~

so what if all were true. it means nothing anymore. i would rather not hear any of it. i dont want those hopes. all is over.

2006-02-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

its times like this when you feel so down, so misundestood.
its times like this when you wish that everyone would start minding their own business and stop interfering in your life.
its times like this when you can't seem to redeem yourself and all you do is sink deeper into this mess.
its times like this when you wish someone can just take you far away and start life anew.
its times like this when you wish that everyone will stop talking like they know everything.
its times like this when you wonder if you can actually trust anyone around you.
its times like this when you wish that someone will just answer all the questions in you.
its times like this..
there's so much to say. why must everything end this way.
i'd probably made things worse.
im tired. real tired.
go on, talk like you know everything. assume that your assumptions are right. i dont wish to care anymore. im too tired to. go ahead. judge me. you dont know anything.
i will never know what your intentions were.
its ripping me apart.

2006-02-09T21:04:00.000+08:00

Had band today! (: Mr Sim was rather pissed though. I guess the stress of the upcoming Esplanade performance is really getting to him. Sighs.

Going out with the girls and friends on Saturday! (: Valentine's outing. Heh. So exciting. Maybe gonna pool before that. It has been ages since I last pooled.

Speaking of Valentine's day, this question has been asked by an idiot in my class[:P] repeatedly a few weeks ago.

Why is Valentine's Day so important?

Hmmmm. I thought about the question. First thing that came to my mind: important meh? Lol. Hahah.. I think Mel feels the same way. :D I mean, I think it's just a day for all couples to express their love for each other more openly? I donno. Anyway, I heard this from Val in primary school, how Valentine's Day came about.

In the olden days, it was against the law to fall in love or get married or something. Then this man named Valentine actually helped this couple to get married. After that he was killed. So Valentine's day became a day to commemorate him. Something like that. I think it's kinda interesting.. (:

Yeah, that's about it. Bye people.

there's just so much to say. no one understands..

2006-02-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

-Edited-

Towned. Bought the gift for my secret valentine. Heh. I'm looking forward to the outing we're gonna have!! (:

Anyway, saw this really cool guy. He was like almost bald and had this HUGE stich across his head. Me and Cheryl overheard his conversation with his friends and concluded that they were really nice people. Hah.. I'm too lazy to go into details.

Haven't study for Geog. test tomorrow. Ahhh. Shall go now. Tata! (: Happy~ Shalalala~

i wonder why.

2006-02-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

Chinese oral was bad. Real bad. I don't know how to say passive smoking, cigarette butts and air pollution in Chinese. Argh. God. But whatever, I'm so glad it's over. (:

Walked around J8 with Val today.. Went to look for nice scents. I still like Ralph Lauren the best. Light. But my cousin has it already! Haha.. If only there is something similar. Hmmm.. Will check it out when I have the cash. Talked to Val about everything. Didn't make a difference though. So many things left without explanations. I will never know. I'll have to live with it. Yeah.

Slept on the bus today.. Almost missed my stop again. Lol. I saw Eddie! Eddie Ang!!!! I thought that guy disappeared or something. But he didn't see me though. Awww.

Hmmm. I can't seem to keep my eyes open during classes. Totally just feel like shutting down. Bleah. Education and its stupid lessons.

I hope I get to do what I wanna do tomorrow. (: Shhh. Toodles people.

i wanna hear the other side.

2006-02-06T00:58:00.000+08:00

最熟悉的陌生人
萧亚轩

还记得吗
窗外那被月光染亮的海洋
你还记得吗
是爱让彼此把夜点亮
为何后来我们
用沉默取代依赖
曾经朗朗星空渐渐阴霾
心碎离开
转身回到最初荒凉里等待
为了寂寞
是否找个人填心中空白
我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折各自悲哀
只怪我们爱得那么汹涌爱得那么深
于是梦醒了搁浅了沉默了挥手了
却回不了神
如果当初在交会时能忍住了
激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里
沉沦
心碎离开转身回到最初荒凉里等待
为了寂寞是否找个人填心中空白
我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折各自悲哀
只怪我们爱得那么汹涌爱得那么深
于是梦醒了搁浅了沉默了挥手了
却回不了神
如果当初在交会时能忍住了
激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里
沉沦
我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折各自悲哀
只怪我们爱得那么汹涌爱得那么深
于是梦醒了搁浅了沉默了挥手了
却回不了神如果当初在交会时能忍住了
激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里
沉沦
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里
沉沦

I love this song.

i'm getting tired..
i should stop trying to understand everything.
i should stop finding reasons.
just stop.

2006-02-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

BACK!!
(: I miss blogging. Heh.

CHINGAY

Hmmm. It was rather fun, but not as fun as last year's. We made a right choice by going late. Because they asked us to go at 1 but there was nothing to do, so I heard. At first we were all pissed when they said that sector 2 and 3 couldn't go for the street party. But woohoo! They released us before the party ended!! I had soooo much fun boogeying with mythe girls. (: Met up with Ryuju, went for supper and cabbed home. :D

Went to my uncle's house today. I really should stop gambling. Haha.. Ate lotsa yummy food. Sinful. Tsk.

School tomorrow. Have to go for band in the morning. Ahhhhh. I need sleep badly. Sighs.

That's about it people. Nights.

no use thinking.

2006-02-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

New layout! (: Felt like changing. Asian picture for once. Heh.

Alright, I'm really sleepy now. Feel like skipping school tomorrow. Sighs. Fucking tired. I can barely keep my eyes open in class. Goodnight, people. Goodnight.

it ain't pleasant. sighs.

2006-02-02T23:46:00.000+08:00

It's exhausting. God. CHINGAY is draining me out. With schoolwork and all too. Sighs. Lack of sleep like always. I think I'm gonna die of exhaustion soon.

Went to Ngee Ann Poly's Open House today. (: I still like Ngee Ann. Heh. Went for the Film and Media Studies tour. I've decided that if I really wanna take up Mass Communications, I will choose the one in NP instead of TP because TP's Communications and Media Course is under Business whereas Mass Comm. in NP is under Film and Media Studies. :D And in Mass Comm. we get to do radio, TV and all.. So fun!! Heh.

Met Merlynn!!! :D God, I miss that girl SOOOO MUCH. (: She totally like gave Vic and me an overview of Mass Comm. Heh. Love that girl. My darling cousin. Hehe.. So fast we are all growing up! Time flies..

Sighs. I feel so tired. Physically, mentally.. Draining my life outta me man. Sighs. Yes, just months till O's and graduation. I would like a change of environment. I think Poly life is cool. (: Yeah, that's about it. I'm tired.

it's nice to know..

2006-02-01T17:04:00.000+08:00

HOME. (: Going for the CHINGAY practice now.
YAY!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

HMPH! [Her expression damn cute! :D]

I love my bitch. :D

2006-01-31T22:24:00.000+08:00

Wheeeeeee!!! CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

BAH, this year ain't my year for gambling. LOL. But I'm happy!! ANG BAOS! :D
Went out with the babes today! Val and Mel. We went to my darling Vic's house! (: Watched Desperate Housewives. One superb show. :D Twisted humour. Heh.
Went to Jurong Point with my darling Vic. (: We went to ah lian shops!!!! Hahahaha.. Ironic. Went to delifrance and talked. Yup. Life's full of surprises. And ironies. Changes. Everyone change. Well, yah. Kinda talking crap but yes.

I'M EXCITED ABOUT CHINGAY!!!!! But I'll praying and crossing my fingers. Heh.

That's all people. Feeling tired. Tatars~

being nice don't help. you pushed me.

2006-01-31T21:34:00.000+08:00

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2006-01-28T11:07:00.000+08:00

Reunion dinner tonight. Looking forward to hot hot steamboat! (: Oh yeah, did I say I'm going to CHINGAY? I'm so excited!!!! :D Last year's was a total blast! So fun!! And I get to take NR6 home at night. Wakakakaka. Oh well, I'm feeling a little groggy now. Probably because of too much sleep. Hmmm.. More next time! (:

maybe one day we'll laugh about this.

2006-01-27T18:22:00.000+08:00

CNY's coming!! (: Man, school's so freaking stressed! Homework, homework and more homework. Sighs. Went to Swensen's with the babes today.. :D Was feeling quite tired so I went home with Val. First time reach home so early man. Lol. Tomorrow's Chu Xi!! :D lalalas~

fuck the shit.

2006-01-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

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2006-01-26T20:03:00.000+08:00

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2006-01-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

Gosh, I went to town after school today. Lol. Felt weird though. In school uniform. Walked around with Ziya and Ian. Made a shopping list. Things that I'm gonna buy after CNY when I have money. COS I'M BROKE NOW. :
1. My black and hotpink dunks.
2. That white Revoltage belt. I WANT IT LIKE NOW.
3. A black top from Neutral Plus.
4. A black top from Afterlife.

Yup. I'm so looking forward to a shopping spree. I need a break. (: That's all. Buhbye.

left no chance to say.

2006-01-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

爱我还是他－陶喆

黑暗中的我们都没有说话
你只想回家不想你回家
寂寞深得像海太让人害怕
温柔你的手轻轻揉着我的发
你的眉眼说你好渴望我拥抱
你身体却在拼命逃当欲望在燃烧
你爱我还是他
是不是真的他有比我好你为谁在挣扎
爱我还是他
就说出你想说的真心话
你到底要跟我还是他

这是不是命运对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法恨你也没办法
陷在这个旋涡只想挣脱它
拉着你的手却让我也被拖下
你的眉眼说你不渴望我拥抱
每当爱变成了煎熬你就开始要逃
你爱我还是他
是不是我可以做的更好让你不再挣扎
你爱我还是他
我宁愿听到残忍的回答
也不要再被耍
你爱我还是他
我为你找了一百个理由我就是那么傻
你爱我还是他
是否沉默代替你的回答
我应该明白吧

爱我还是他
你都已看不到我们的好我还灰心牵挂
你爱我还是他
是否沉默就是你的回答
我们都别挣扎
去爱他

be happy. both of you. (:

2006-01-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Went to TP's open house on Sat with Ziya and Eugene. Had fun! I'm like kinda interested in their Communications and Media Management Course. I think TP people are like so hyper. Lol. Felt like a Sec One again when I was there. Heh. After that, I went to town with Ziya to find Mel. Bought a tube! :D So happy. Haha.. Went to my aunt's house and fell asleep. Lol.

Today, went for band early in the morning. So freaking tired. Started at 0700 but I was late.. So yeah, reached there at 0730. Assembly and stuff. Had our health check up. Again the nurses keep telling me that I'm tall for my age. Like shut up! I KNOW. It's not that I want either. Not my fault right. So pissing. Argh. Got Ms Oon to call me shortie cos I told her I get irritated when people say that I'm tall. Lol. After school went for band again. Sec Ones came. Gladys came too! Lol. Bridgewater Breeze is nice. I'm loving it. (:

Sighs. After band, met Lester. Was feeling down. Very down indeed. Held back my tears. I don't know what's wrong with me. Every recent happening is wearing me out. It hurts. Yeah, it does. It shouldn't matter but it does. But I'll get over it. I'm outta this game. Yeah. Choking back on tears. It's like there's so much anger and frustration yet I can't do anything about it. It's driving me nuts. It really is.

Just finished watching Love Concierge. Man, that Ruqing is such a bitch. :\ Bloody hell. Sighs. I'm kinda tired. So I guess.. I'll just stop here. Till the next.

a soundless scream.. let that go.

2006-01-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

I hate Physics. :\ School was alright today. Lester came after school and kept threatening me with my Geography textbook. [hey bitch, I need it by Monday!!!!!!! go find it please?? (:] Yup. Went to J8 and bought studs. Lol. Have a fetish for studs now. Heh.

Went to Toa Payoh with Vic and Les. Then took 139 home! Haven't done that in ages. Reached home and yeah, did nothing much.

Those chest pains are coming more frequently lately. What's wrong with me. ): My mum ask me to see a doctor tomorrow. But I don't want to. It ain't such a big deal I guess. It'll be gone soon. I hope. (:

I'm so looking forward to Chinese New Year. Come quick quick! :D

blood stained my soul.

2006-01-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

School as usual. Till 4+ then I went for band. Played Merry-go-round! (: So fun. But I hate 1st clarinet's high squeaky notes though. Noise. Bleahs.

I was supposed to punish percussion, trombone and tuba section for messing their scores. But in the end I just ask them to pack. Actually, I think I did the packing as well. Heh. Just don't like punishing those guys. (: Had fun crapping with Adriel, Ron, Eiji and gang. Crazy guys actually wanted us to pump them! Lol. And so we did. Hahaha..

Hmmm.. After band, went to meet Lester with Vic.. Kinda miss that guy. Haah. Went to get Vic's phone and went home. Yup. That's about it.

Oh yeah, JAS*THM were discussing our Valentine's outing during recess. (: I'm so looking forward to hang out with the babes. :D And I think I have a date with Mel. Don't worry, Mel, I'll ask Meiyuan and all his HUNKY friends ok? Hahahahaha.. :D Just kidding. That guy probably celebrating with his number don't-know-how-many girlfriend. Heh.

Uh huh. I guess that's all. Till the next time people. Toodles.

blade to the heart.

2006-01-18T21:27:00.000+08:00

So here, I'll start anew.

God, three tests in a day really sucks. Physics- FAIL, A. Maths- F9, Chem- passable [I hope.] A. Maths was really bad. Really, really bad. But oh well, I am glad it's all over.

Bought my bag today! For CNY. (: Hahaha.. I got everything for CNY already.. Clothes, shoes, bags.. :D So happy! Yup. That's about it. KInda tired and I haven't done my homework. Yay.

the last.